Parashat Vayechi - thought to ponder

At the end of Bereishit, Yosef, in a scene paralleling Yaakov, places a vow on his family that at the time of redemption to take his bones from Egypt ("And Joseph took an oath of the children of Israel, saying: 'God will surely remember you, and ye shall carry up my bones from hence.'"[50:25]). In Masechet Sotah, Rav taught in the name of Rav Yehuda that the reason it says the bones is as a punishment for Yosef not showing respect for his father, allowing his brothers to refer to Yaakov as "our father your servant." In thinking about this idea, I began wondering if this Midrash is in some way a critique of Yosef with regards to the general charade he plays with his brothers. Are Hazal saying that Yosef's actions were legitimate until the point where his father is degraded in his eyes? Are Hazal considering the possibility that it would have been better for Yosef to reveal himself immediately instead of allowing the brothers to say Yaavo was "his servant?" Furthermore, how do we then understand the whole idea we are taught that Yosef being in Egypt and the subsequent famine were all steps towards getting Bnai Yisrael to Egypt for the period of slavery, fulfilling the words of G-d to Avraham?